Written By: Sheeny
It’s springtime and for those of us raised in the Judeo-Christian culture that means Easter or Passover time. For some of us lucky pizza bagels we get to do both. That’s a lot of trips to the relatives’ isn’t it? What to bring? I like to make my special non-denominational pro-evolution cakes.
First thing you’ll need: a dinosaur muffin tin available at fine retailers everywhere.
Step 2: a delicious cake recipe. Mine is a patented secret so unfortunately I am forbidden from reprinting it here, but I would recommend Martha Stewart. I won’t have you cutting corners on flavor.
Step 3: Green food coloring and lots of it. It’s a scientific fact that dinosaurs are green.
You’ll need to put your ingredients in a bowl and mix them thoroughly.
Fill the dinosaurs 2/3 full with batter making sure not to get your tits in the mixing bowl. That dress is linen for heaven’s sake.
The dinosaurs are ready to go into the oven! Bend over and place the pan gently in the oven. DO NOT SPILL OR YOU’LL HAVE TO CLEAN THE OVEN BEFORE YOUR HUSBAND GETS HOME. Notice that I also put a tarp down to protect my freshly waxed parquet.
Wait 18 minutes… lalalalala
Oh! The cupcakes are ready! Now they just need some decorations and we’ll be ready for the Seder! Protip: the more decorations the better. No one likes a cake decorating minimalist.
Dinosaur decorating is only for the most advanced Extinct Animal Shaped Dessert Artisans. Note the fine detailing.
Whenever you make a truly special dessert, take a picture! You want to remember your hard work and brag to the neighbors. Remember: you are better than them.
What would I do without my lovely baking assistant. She’s been busy behind the scenes this whole time!
NOOOOOOOO! WTF, this gentile is sabotaging my Festive Meal!
Nothing a little frosting won’t fix. This is why I use a very sturdy cake batter recipe.