How To: Hook Up With A Girl
Written By: Sister Sylvia
I know you’ve thought about it.
Your girl friends are attractive, well dressed, and hilarious. Who WOULDN’T think about having sex with them? The girls on the subway seem so confident, your hair dresser has awesome boobs, and the waitress at the restaurant has this mischievous little smile. Sometimes even the straightest of straight girls develops a crush on another woman.
For some, it’s only a brief sexual thought, disappearing as soon as it appeared. In spite of what the pornography industry would have you believe, completely straight girls do exist. For others, though, the “what if” is always there. If your curiosity has gotten the best of you, and you feel ready to take that next step, what follows is some advice, based on my years of lady-loving experience.
My very first tip: don’t have sex with a girl because you think it will make a man happy. Just don’t do it. Threesomes can be fun, but your first time fondling a woman should be because the two of you want to feel each other up, not because a man wants to watch.
You’re ready to decide who will take your girl-on-girl virginity. If you have a close friend you are specifically attracted to, the best way to broach the subject is to be straight forward. Text messaging has made awkward conversations much more tolerable, so if you are too shy to bring it up in person, you could always bring it up via text. I wouldn’t dive right in with “So, I would like to lick your pussy.” It’s best to bait her with something like “I know it’s not my usual thing, but I have been having a lot of fantasies about sex with girls” and see where the conversation goes.
If the girl you want to have sex with is not exactly your best friend, there is a bit more of a challenge. In this case, you’re on the same playing field as men. You should ask her out for dinner or a few drinks, pay for said dinner or drinks, and make it very clear that you are interested in being more than just friends during your time together. Woo her! Extended eye contact, arm and knee touches, and out loud laughter are all tell-tale signs of flirting. Most other girls can recognize these from a mile away, and will respond by either flirting back or giving off proper “no thank you” signals.
Which brings me to my next point: be sure she is actually interested in women. As mentioned, straight girls do exist. The Kinsey Scale was created by Alfred Kinsey to provide a grey area to our gradated human sexuality. A 0 on the Kinsey scale indicates exclusive heterosexuality, while a 6 indicates exclusive homosexuality, and everything in between is a variant of bisexuality. Zeros are Zeros, period. If you want to become intimate with someone, it’s important to make sure your intentions are clear, which provides the other woman the opportunity to say no. If she does, don’t take it personally.
Women face enough sexual pressure from men, that we don’t need it from other women. Tread lightly. If you are getting mixed signals, and are too shy to just ask outright, you should reevaluate who you are pursuing. Try finding a woman who is open about being with girls, preferably one who has the experience you may be lacking. If you are only interested in casual sex, do your best to make sure that is consensual. Also, please be aware that homosexual women can, and do, fall in love with other women. Do not lead on a lesbian just to test your sexuality. Lastly, make sure the girl you want to hook up with is available. Sex with a girl is still sex, and it still “counts,” even if it is only exploratory and she has a hetero partner who she has no intention of leaving. Consent from all relevant parties is the most important thing with *any* sexual endeavor.
Now, you’ve found an attractive lady, you are both emotionally available for a sexual encounter, and she has shown interest in seeing where your physical relationship goes. Good for you! Making fantasy into reality can be intimidating, though. Women are very sensitive to other women judging us, but if you have gotten this far, just relax. You can always start off slow, sit close to her on the couch, take her hand while you are walking or watching a movie, touch the small of her back while standing next to her, brush her hair back for her while she is talking. Small intimacies do not go unnoticed by women.