Written By: Bettie Camaro
Although I’ll often tout the life of a guy’s girl, I can’t even begin to imagine how lost I’d be without my ladies, especially one in particular. To this day, I strongly believe we would not have survived the evilness that is high school without each other. We helped each other through every single awkward (and fun) stage of growing up, from boy advice, to how to tips for, you know…stuff. We even purchased our first thongs together, matching ones we bought from the 99 cent table at Rue 21 or Deb, or another similar trashy teeny bopper department store at the mall, which we immediately followed by running to the bathroom because we couldn’t wait to put them on.
No, we never dyked it out, except for the few times we made out to get boys to do the same – but hey, we were 16, who doesn’t have that inner exhibitionist back then? However, she did indirectly and unknowingly help give me my first orgasm, thus completely changing my sexual life as I knew it.
It was Christmas break of our senior year of high school, and we would both be turning 18 after the New Year. To commemorate us becoming adults, she bought us matching adult gifts – pocket sized silver bullet vibrators, a first of many sex toys for each of us. I had been dating the same boy off and on since middle school, which in high school years is forever. I wasn’t a virgin, however, I had never experienced the big “O”. Sure, I had talked about these things with my friends, but I just assumed I wasn’t capable because it had never happened. Oh, how young, naïve, and very, very wrong I was.
I can’t put all the blame on my then boyfriend; in fact I really can’t put any. We were 16 when we started, and what 16 year old boy truly knows how to make a lady’s rubber ducky squeak? Besides, I had no idea what I was doing, either. Sure, I had tried fun for one on a few occasions, but I had no idea what I liked, so after a few minutes of awkwardly jamming a finger up myself, I’d call it quits. Female anatomy is complex, even for a female if you aren’t thoroughly acquainted with it. Guys need instruction to learn, and we ladies need to know what to instruct.
My Christmas gift from my friend may have been a gag gift, but for me, it was the beginner’s push into sexual enlightenment that I hadn’t even known I was missing out on. My first orgasm was an external one, just me and my bullet. Although I still have it, I’ve become more adventurous over the years and have moved onto a variety of other toys which have taught me I am actually capable of achieving orgasm in 4 different ways – and my boyfriend knows how to make all four happen. The teenage girl who thought she couldn’t have an orgasm has come a long way – pun most definitely intended!
Unfortunately, I think a lot of ladies have probably been in the same boat. They teach us how to prepare for our first period in gym class, and they teach us about sexual health in classes dedicated to just that, but there is no class that teaches women how to enjoy sex. Although I doubt this will ever happen, I do consider it equally as important and should be the third course in this trilogy of learning.
I reached this conclusion one Saturday morning shopping for new toys at the adult store with my boyfriend. You walk in and are immediately bombarded by what I affectionately like to refer to as “my first dildo” – a long, hard, perfectly straight, pink monstrosity that does absolutely nothing in the realm of pleasure, but for novices, it appears to be the perfect beginner’s tool.
Starting in next month’s edition, I’ll be reviewing one toy, lubricant, cream, etc. each issue. We may not have a class to help us out, but we do have Your Monthly Periodical!