Flip Flops Will Make you Look Stupid and Also Kill You
By: Sheeny
I’ve hated flip-flops since I was a child due to their toe touching awfulness. Here’s why:
They can get stuck under the pedals while you’re driving. Pretty self-explanatory. Your feet get pinned and you die.
You walk out of them. This summer footwear has gotten its name for a reason. They don’t stay on your feet. While you are walking around minding your own business it’s very easy to step out of them trip and maybe fall into oncoming traffic or down a hole or a pool.
Your dog steps on them, tripping you. A person can also do that to you, but I found it happened every time I walked my dog in flip flops she stepped on the back of them and I would trip, usually in front of people sitting on their porch.
Hookworms: your feet are completely exposed. Any bug, piece of glass, syringe on the ground can easily jab your foot. Rusty nails, stones, dog poo. Wear flip flops and ask for blood born disease and parasites to take over your body.
Filth: You’re basically walking around barefoot and collecting all the dirt and germs on the ground all day. Once for some unexplainable reason I wore flip-flops for an entire day walking around Toronto. By the time I went to Swiss Chalet for lunch the bottoms of my feet were completely black with street grime. I was in a panic until I got back to the hotel. It was the worst day of my life.
dramatic reenactment of my Toronto vacation
Permanent bone damage: After that day in Toronto my feet hurt a lot. One of them kept hurting for 3 months really really really bad. Flip-flops have no arch support and I couldn’t wear nice shoes for the rest of the summer without crippling pain.
Do you wear flip-flops in the gym locker room or by a pool? Great idea to get them wet. They get all slimy and as I said before this shoe abomination has a tendency to slide off. Next thing you know you slip, fall, hit your head on concrete. Boom. Done.
