Please Don’t Cum on My Little Pony©
See this guy? Does he work for Hasbro? No. Is he a hipster artist? Maybe. Does he enjoy getting off to a cartoon program aimed at 4-9 year old girls? Yes. He is a Brony. He is going to defile those darling little toys with his gross penis. He’s so great and ironic and it’s so cute how he’s ruining those ponies’ lives. He probably has an awesome hipster girlfriend and they watch My Little Pony dvd’s while she jerks him off onto Applejack.
Yes, that’s right. Men got tired of just shooting their load all over vaginas, faces, asses, hair, bellies, tits, pie, socks, beer bottles, pillows, feet, shoes, other penis’, crackers, waste baskets, panties, stockings, teddy bears, and keyboards. They have to go ahead and make my favorite childhood toy into something dark and dirty. 5 year old me feels super violated. Grown up me does too.
Getting kinda bored with the jizz everywhere, gentlemen. If men actually like ladies, I don’t understand how vagina gets so boring so fast that they need to move on to tiny 2 inch plastic toys. I can understand where most fetishes come from and don’t really care what you want to do. If you want to put on a diaper and have your girlfriend yell at you for wetting yourself while she wears a nursing bra then fine. Go right ahead and have fun. If you want to blow a wad on Barbie’s tits, fine. She’s an adult. I’ll even give you Skipper and Midge.
Look at this poor defenseless My Little Pony. She wishes she lived with a nice little girl who would brush her hair, but no. She’s a prisoner of some ironic sex den.
Concerned about washing your semen off your little petrified friend after you’re done with her? Yahoo Answers can help with that.
I thank God that I am a toy hoarder and all of my My Little Ponies are safe and didn’t end up at a garage sale only to fall into the hands of some pony jizz freak.