What You’re Eating That’s Annoying Me
By: Sheeny
CHOPSTICKS:
As a hedonistic lazy pants I’m a complete failure at fad diets. Watching the girls around me partake is always fascinating though. Whether it be skipping meal, gluten free, dairy free, juice fasts, cleanses, bulimia, or eating everything with chopsticks it’s always a wonder to behold what my peers will do to look allegedly adorable in their rompers.
Recently I visited some of my more pretentious relations and there were some lunatic ladies there eating their food with chopsticks. No, this was not an Asian restaurant. I am talking about salad, burritos, whatever. All with chopsticks. I did a mediocre google search and didn’t come up with anything, but I believe the premise is that you eat more slowly with chopsticks, therefore not overeating like a girl (me) with PMS and low self esteem.
dramatic reenactment
I guess that is true. However actual Asians use chopsticks to shovel the food in even faster than we do with forks. Also you look like a giant twat eating your roasted potatoes with chopsticks. I’m not a man, but I suspect this sort of behavior is a red flag to them. ‘Danger! She doesn’t swallow and complains about cigarette smoke from 3 miles away’
FROYO:
First of all I’d like to say that I absolutely hate abbreviations and they make my skin crawl worse than ringing phones. With that said, the f-r-o-z-e-n y-o-g-u-r-t epidemic is also getting on my nerves. In a nearby suburb there are about 5 frozen yogurt shops on the same block. I guess all the townsfolk eat is frozen yogurt because they are so health conscious. On a recent investigation of Ben & Jerry’s new Greek Frozen Yogurt vs. their regular icecream I noticed that there is actually very little difference in the fat/sugar/carbs/whateverelseyouwanttotrack categories. I have not bothered trying it since I enjoy ice cream and am losing weight by eating it with chopsticks.
