Well, Isn’t That Pinteresting?
Written By: Kat
Today I logged into Pinterest for the first time in a few weeks. As I scrolled through, page after page loading, I was quickly reminded of how terrible and plebeian everything in my life is. My bedroom doesn’t look anything like an airy beachside bungalow, my wall-hangings have zero rustic character, and there is nary a stitch of stainless steel in my kitchen. Thanks, Internet, I’ll be in my shitty little shanty if you need me.
As far as I can tell, Pinterest is the reason your wife drinks heavily. It’s a place ladies go to be reminded they are not nearly adequate, due to the fact that they have not yet mastered “the perfect ganache,” or hand-sewn that elaborate princess costume for their daughters.
It’s a place where middle-class women fantasize about $4k Burberry trench coats, obsess over creative shelving, and lust after $100 a roll wallpapers. It is rife with photos of young New York City fashionistas, pinned and repinned by stay-at-home moms in the flyover states, peering through the Pinterest peephole at an alternate reality.
Suddenly, it dawned on me. Pinterest is the digital embodiment of everything I hate.
I am the kind of person who loves to throw things out. Not perfectly good, functioning items; but the defunct remnants of Made in China ANYTHING are trash to me. Not because I am wealthy and can afford to buy new things, but because I long ago accepted that IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING FIX THAT.
So I throw it out instead of leaving it sitting around, making me feel guilty. Goodbye $15 window fan from 6 years ago, I’m sure the replacement part to fix you is only $2, and it would be real easy to pull out your workings and get you right back in order. But IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING DO THAT. Goodbye, stinky old sectional sofa from my ex boyfriends mother. I bet a steam-cleaning and a trendy slip cover would make you good as new. BUT IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING DO THAT. We can discuss how simple re-purposing all our shoddily-crafted overseas items would be all day long, but guess what? I already know. IM NOT GOING TO.
And I am not going to be guilted into thinking there is something wrong with me by a big pile of broken shit, just sitting around, waiting for me to breathe new life into it. I am not crafty. I don’t look at a broken pampasan chair and think “oh that would make an excellent light fixture!” Because I know, by the time I get home from work, run errands, take care of my pets, and eat a meal, there’s no chance in hell I am spray painting, double-sided-taping, or glitter-gluing anything. It’s a good day if I actually mend that little hole in my sweater I’ve been meaning to fix for months.
My simple math tells me this is ok! In my rationale, my time and energy has it’s own value. If any project will take me longer than 2 hours, it needs to be something worth more than $30– and that doesn’t include supply costs, and inevitable crafting rage. So if it’s going to cost me $20 in paint, then take 2 hours of my time, plus cause me anxiety, the value of my broken item better go up at least $50. Which a broken lawn chair reupholstered by belts, or a mail-holder made from an old window shutter, is absolutely not worth to me.
Yes, it would be just splendid to live in a world where we never throw anything out and everyone is so goddamn Pinteresting they can’t even fit all their creative awesomeness in a mason jar. And maybe some ambitious, crafty women out there are eternally grateful for all the inspiration on their Pinterest boards– elegantly fishtail braiding their toddler’s hair while she consumes nutritious home-made baby food from a repurposed bowling ball. But for the rest of us rat-racing females, who cant even stand the word appliqué, Pinterest is Internet version of those shoes you’ve been meaning to have repaired, that wonderful torte recipe your mother-in-law gave you 4 years ago, and the blanket you began crocheting that still looks like a scarf.
CRAFTING RAGE
If it makes you feel guilty, toss it. This includes stacks of unfinished projects and boards full of complicated recipes. Let it all go and see how much better you feel. While you oggle some affluent family’s bathtub, filling up boards with things that, in the big picture, don’t even matter, you are doing nothing for human progress. Life is too short to waste planning an imaginary future on the Internet. Don’t let Pinterest make you believe otherwise.
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Yall girls are a mess. But at least a hot mess.
Plus y’all been on a hiatus from blogging too long. Y’all can’t keep depriving us of such debauchery.
HA! Thanks. We were very busy crafting chandeliers from old engine parts.
Ha! Crafting rage. Love it. I too have mixed feelings and sometimes rage about this idea that we’re meant to knit tea cosies for ourselves while working in full-time careers. I even wrote about it on The F Word http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2012/08/cupcake_feminis and on my blog http://lipstickterrorist.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/innocentease-and-the-rise-of-the-cupcake/. I’d rather be reading.
So right on…If it can’t be done drunk it’s too complicated :-p
Reblogged this on drndark.
Love it! It has always baffled me why people buy, or accept junk to begin with. Is it really so that they can turn it into something else? Deeper issues there, methinks.
And I’ve been wondering for a while now what purpose Pinterest actually serves. Finally someone has told me. It just bores me senseless but perhaps I just wasn’t drunk enough. If Pinterest is what women are into I so wish I wasn’t one.
I am the opposite of a hoarder. I relish throwing things out. It’s so….freeing.
lol! I am on Pinterest daily… in my break at work. It’s simply to get my mind off work and look at pretty pictures
too funny!
Throwing things away is the best, discarding shit that doesn’t actually really matter.
So lucky you are, to have twigged, so young, this profound secret of life; and plucky you are, to have gotten the decision made, and your young guilt thrown out, with all the other stuff. Now, the internet may be seen to be your second home, and the many options within it to be merely options for throwing out too. Is it a good thing that the cyber-cosmos, like life in general, is populated by so much un-needed stuff? Actually, that is a silly, un-needed question that we should throw out.
I love this comment.
I see it as less of an imaginary future and more of a Utopian possibility. That way, when I reach my happy medium, I can happily skip to the next project. I had avoided Pinterest for the longest and joined only to help my niece with a napkin folding tutorial for her tea. I’m not as addicted to Pinning as most folks that I know, but it helps focus me when I need to strap the little ADHD gremlin in my brain down to a chair so I can get some work done.
Dig your writing style…and the banner made me chuckle. I may stroll back through at a later date.
I’m not going to lie… I still peruse. As ladies, we do love tormenting ourselves a bit ;o)
There is some value for those who work in the design/art world to pin images from…the natural world or just interesting looking scenes/people or other people’s art that shows an interesting technique/effect. To me, pinterest, looks time-consuming.
People already think that blogging is time-consuming.
Amen, I’m lucky if I even get to the store for the kids costumes on time not making them. I am a stay at home mom and I don’t have that kind of time. Lol
My wife does a great ganache, but she was always a fantastic dancer.
FINALLY someone who shares my opinions about Pinterest! I’ve resisted going on the site because it’s just another way to compare myself to people/objects that don’t exist and don’t actually matter. Great post! My favorite line was this: “…elegantly fishtail braiding their toddler’s hair while she consumes nutritious home-made baby food from a repurposed bowling ball.” Hilarious!
Best,
e.v.
This was hilarious! I have to admit, I am a crafty person… However, I’ve never ‘joined’ pinterest (or whatever you do to start ‘pinning’ boards). It might be a place to grab ideas if you aren’t very creative or are in a creative slump; but if you are a crafty person to begin with, then chances are you won’t need to spend your time on such a site. Having said that, I still feel proud when I hear of someone ‘pinning’ my creations (that they must have snagged from my blog here on WordPress).
Heading to Goodwill this morning, in fact. Great post.
Have never even looked at Pinterest and never going to.
This is really an excellent take on Pinterest. I like your line “Don’t plan your future on the Internet” because that’s what so many people do! Granted, I do like Pinterest for inspiration, on recipes, a hairdo, or other minor, inconsequential things.
Amen!!! How liberating to let go of the guilt of being completely non-crafty (at least in the arts and crafty kind of way…;-)). Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Thank you!!
Nice blog, keep it up!
That’s why I ignore the recipes and the home decor. I just pin pictures of really cool rocks and weird looking animals. I do admit to the occasional shoe envy.
Oh, the shoes…. ::swoon::
I’m going to create 500 different logons so I can keep returning to hit the like button.
HAHA! glad you enjoyed
D
I signed up for Pinterest a few weeks ago and immediately didn’t get it. You explained perfectly why I didn’t. Nice!
Your a woman after my own heart, glad theres other people who think the same as me!! I have a rule for throwing things out, not just broken things- if ive not used it in the past 6 months, chances are im not going to use it again, so its gone. Or aleast sent to a charity shop so someone else can get some use out of it!
therealnewgirl x
I can TOTALLY relate with you. I have a Pinterest account, but I barely ever log into it, because I just couldn’t be bothered trying to make this dish, or fix up that out of date piece of furniture myself. If I really have a desier to do something (say make a lasagna or spruce up an existing picture frame), I will google a cooking show website or a DIY blog. In other words, I will find what I need at the time….. Beyond that, I don’t need a daily reminder of how mundane my house and all its belongings!
Also, I find Pinterest to be another way to collect loads of pics and articles of things you hope to do some day, but never eventually get around to! It’s another way to clutter our mind online!
Hilarious post!
I’ve been suspecting for a long time that Pinterest was the ultimate hoarder’s inspiration.
It sounds to me like maybe your not meant to use Pinterest. Maybe it isn’t for everyone?
Yes, I think you may be right! ;o)
I haven’t figured out Pinterest out. http://www.segmation.wordpress.com.
I do suffer from guilt when I throw things out because I think of the landfills FILLING up, everything goes somewhere. That being said, my habitat does NOT look like Sanford & Sons, althought the latest CD cover art of Mumford & Sons yes…
my point is reduce, reuse, recycle and that can be done drunk or sober…
I admire crafty people who actually follow through on their intended projects! I just know I am, sadly, not one of them. Accepting that is good for my sanity
)
For the LOVE of Pete…………………….THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great job on your post!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
I want to print this out and give it to my husband. He refuses to throw out the shittiest of shitty things because WHAT IF WE CAN USE IT ONE DAY??? We have one particularly useless piece of shitty shit in the basement that he won’t part with because it was MADE IN ENGLAND! I’m currently plotting his death…
YES. My gentleman friend is a bit of a “hoarder,” as well. We are in no rush to move in together, as his “collections” would drive me positively mad!
My husband, too! I’m trying to de-clutter a little bit – by which I mean, get rid of something so that we can actually walk through our house! – and he vetoes everything. “That’s an antique. That was my mom’s. That’s worth a lot of money.” It’s all CRAP!
Pinterest has given me hair insecurity. I air dry mine and apparently there’s something morbidly wrong about that. I’ve also never hand crafted my own doll house or hard boiled eggs in the oven. Please pass that bottle of wine you’re drinking…
hahah this made me lol pretty hard. i bet your air dried hair looks awesome.
Blogging provides a voice for fringe writers…idk if that’s the right word actually. I guess I mean blogging allows writers to talk about relevant topics that wouldn’t make it into a magazine or mainstream media outlet. One of these joys I find from reading blogs is finger-on-the-pulse perfect recounts of new social media. I read a great blog about Instagram being a 6′s dream because the filters make a 6 look like an 8…that was genius.
And now, I get this wonderful depiction of Pinterest. It opened my eyes. I know Pinterest is mainly a female venture (I have one, I’m a guy) but through this little cynical post, I understand what the hell women are doing when I see nothing but pins of food and home decor.
“Pinterest is the reason your wife drinks heavily” is the line I enjoyed most. Your examination and hilarity made this post a pleasure to read. Well done!
Thank you! I wanted to give Pinterest a fair shot, but it just doesn’t appeal to my lifestyle. I prefer keeping my feet on planet Earth, where there are only 24 hours in a day, and I have no time for stepping on pin-cusions or feeling guilty about my consumerism.
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This post was so spot on, I am going to pin it!
Please do! Kat and I have much to teach the undersexed over-pinned ladies of America!
Excellent post! Me, I love Pinterest for their copyright complaint form. Allows me to discard pins by people who have stolen my stuff from WP, so their pinboards are a little tidier.
A bit time consuming alright, but hey – I care for you, folks! 
Good for you, I do my very best to always give photo credits where they are due. I know that as much as I would love my work to be seen all over the place, I would prefer it actually be credited to me!
This is so true. I started pinning and limited pins to things I thought I could do or make but as yet I am to try any. I have managed to get all my bits for Halloween, maybe I’ll post on my blog how I got on but if that fails I might as well ditch the pin! Thanks for the laugh
i f*%&^# love this. my thoughts exactly. except when i write stuff like this, i have to bleep out the swear words (some) bc i am a minister. but sister, you are singing my song. thank you.
Love the commentary, it matches my attitude towards what main-stream media, and its adherents, tries to push on us, tries to create for our own expectations. When in doubt, opt out. Choose your own goals and ignore the rest. Pursue those goals and lighten the load by ignoring their goals for you. After a while you’ll find you have your own following.
Gratz on freshly pressed! Pinterest is my way of kidding myself that I live in some carefully designed and furnished, calm and serene space. We all know I live in a messy mad house! Great post. I do like that chair though
Hehe, I did enjoy this and empathise somewhat…
ah, yes. my sentiments exactly.
Oh my goodness, I LOVE your post! You could not have said it better! Yes, “for the rest of us rat-racing females” the fantasy world of Pinterest is just that, a fantasy. Thank you for this post. You made me feel better. Thanks, Cat
This is awesome.
I live in a world where my wife never throws anything out
Not yet photographed and put on Pinterest, though (maybe I should…) 
Actually, I can’t help thinking that – in the strictest sense – Pinterest is actually a giant copyright infringement machine, irrespective of the mechanisms available for people to have unauthorised use dealt with. Probably not a biggie for most people, but I figure there are probably commercial photographers whose work’s been re-pinned and would prefer it hadn’t been. After a certain point it gets hard to call it ‘free advertising’.
I only joined Pinterest to leave comments under images that users help themselves to from my blog. Nearly all of my pictures on there come from a post that was meant to raise awareness of a charity for veterans. Instead what’s happening is that Pinterest users only look at the image that’s been linked. No exposure to what I’ve written, the charity in question or the effort I made to raise money. I don’t find it flattering that these images have been “pinned”. What the Pinterest user has done, effectively, is to hand over copyright of my work to someone else for their use. Pinterest is just exploiting digital hoarders.
Agreed. Pinterest is just something to numb your mind – staring at so many random images you really aren’t absorbing any of it. – sheeny
Reblogged this on Decorum DIY-er's Blog and commented:
Well, yes, there is a bit of that going on, isn’t there. Wait, is she talking about me?
Thanks for the re-post!!
You are quite welcome! I enjoyed your post very much. How could I not re-post? Great job!
Awesome. Makes me feel slightly like an junk-loaded loser. But awesome stuff.
i signed first time in pinterest and didn’t get it, you described the reason…well then i found the reason by seein’ alot of ladies stuff there. Nicley written by the way.
Oh god. I just really, really freaking love this. I have this beautiful vintage dress that’s too big for me hanging in my closet. I have a fashion designer flatmate. I have been meaning to get her help in taking it in – FOR A YEAR. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg…. I feel like you just wrote about my life. So thanks for being awesome
I don’t need to mark a calendar, the day I start becoming filled with irrational rage because someone is talking to me or within 20 feet of my desk, I know what’s happening. Ladies used to get to hide out. So not fair. I didn’t ask to be ‘equal’ – Sheeny
Hahahahah Nice pics!
Reblogged this on Cazzy's Corner and commented:
This post has got it spot on for me! I just don’t get the appeal of Pinterest.
You’ve just listed all the reasons I try to keep away from Pinterest. Brilliant post:)
The shame of it is I seem to only discard/lose things I regret (a Charles Eames Chair and footstool for e.g.), things that needed no adjustment WHATSOEVER while the pock-marked light shades, dresses that will NEVER fit again and towels that refuse to die pile up in rooms that could otherwise be lived in. Gotta go, I’m ordering a skip right now.
Betcha Martha could rework that pampasan chair of yours with glee-send it off! Grand writing, YMP, makes me way ashamed at my current addiction to the site as a wannabe…in every way.
Gosh, I wish I could get my mom to throw crap out. Shes one of those mexican ladies that walks by a trash heap and thinks she can slavage an old lamp with tacos or something.
Im with u on the pinterest thing. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about my experience trying to sabotage Pinterest. I put up tacky as hell pics but to no affect…damn it. I might have to start an underground movement of the sort.
OH…and cheers…im at work and wishing i had some of that jesus juice ur holding!
You have inspired me to get off Pinterest and throw all my shit in the garbage. I love this blog.
This is hilarious, and your photos are great
I have just started to use Pinterest in a limited way to collect inspiration for my design work, but I can’t quite see the attraction of pinning up home made bread and other people’s garages with no other motive than ‘that’s nice’. Thanks for making me giggle.
Very funny post. Even I, when I don’t like some of the things at home, I have my son play with them so they will get ugly and broken so I have a reason to buy a new one.
Good golly, Miss Molly, I can’t tell you how much I agree with you!!! I have a pinterest account that I signed up for a kajillion years ago and I’ve used it…uhhh…three times? I don’t even know. I don’t think I have anything pinned. I just don’t care. My success or failure as a wife and mother (and homemaker) does not need to be measured against all those crappity-crap pictures of other people’s stuff!
And congrats on the FP as well! That’s pretty awesome!
You are awesome. If something breaks or hasn’t been used in a few years, out it goes. Unless hoarder hubby gets his hands on it, then it joins the 10,000 “I’m going to fix that” projects in the garage. I don’t even know what Pinterest is, all I know is my friends keep cluttering my facebook feed with pictures of stuff and I don’t know how I’m supposed to respond – am I supposed to buy one? Make one? I don’t craft and I lack fashion sense and I am proud to see you girls out there paying it forward for the rest of us.
Funny as hell! I have been hearing so much about Pinterest and wondering what it was – now you’ve saved me the time of actually looking it up. I feel better already! Sounds like the new Martha Stewart – I remember seeing an interview of two men who made an anti-Martha Stewart calendar. It had things like disgusting recipes and weird crafts, and the interviewer was a little uncomfortable; said she loved Martha. So the guys asked her if she had ever done any Martha project and she said yes, she had, adding herbs to olive oil in a pretty jar, but it didn’t work and they guys just laughed and shouted “YOU FAILED MARTHA STEWART!!” They said all Martha does is make other people feel inadequate.
Beautiful! I wholeheartedly agree that the internet and most of what social media has metastasized into is a breeding ground for competition, self-loathing and the perpetuation of unnecessary consumerism. However, it’s always a breath of fresh air to see people like you speaking your truth in a witty and honest fashion. Right on, keep up the bloggin’.
If only we could learn to utilize these tools properly… I think Facebook and many of these sites have been harnessed by few and far between for the good of humanity. But while the intention is there the vast majority use it as an ego boosting or crushing crutch.
THANK YOU!
I can hardly understand Pinterest, but whenever I try, the overall feeling is definitely one of “Wow, am I living a life with dangerously low levels of zucchini, melted cheese and antique ribbons, or are these people mad?” and I haven’t tried in awhile. It reminds me in some ways of the horrible antropologie catalogs that come to my apartment. “Did you need a new chair for your apartment? How about this one..it’s black and covered in spattered paint, and it’s only $350!” and it makes me feel like I no longer know the real world of today, so I shy away from it.
But then I realize that no humans I know are actually doing this stuff to that extent…
So the question becomes, where are all the people posting the pictures..and where do they come from?
I really enjoyed this post…I think clearing out is healthy…especially crap you really should have known better than to buy in the first place! And I definitely think pinterest can be a real time eater! That being said…I like pinterest and it helps me in my job as an artist and art educator. I find lots of inspiration as well as links to blogs with tutorials and important educational info that keeps me current in my career. So thanks for your perspective which is very grounding and made me laugh a lot!
Amen Sisters! I have a pinterest account and don’t know what the heck I’m doing with it nor do I really enjoy going there- Yuck Why can’t I write my posts on life and joy and cooking/baking love and let it come from within. God help us- I DO NOT want to be one of those obsessed women who gets up at 4am to pin things…YIKES!
Reblogged this on vitainalbin and commented:
Read this LOL
Haha hilarious! You made my day
Hilarious post! But, hey, I rehab, reuse and refurbish all the time. God knows, I’d have to prostitute myself or rob a bank to afford the unused stuff. Before I found my dresser at a thrift shop, I looked at the big box retailers and the stuff was junk! And expensive. Though I’d probably never refurbish a sofa that I found in a thrift shop, I’ve got some really neat stuff that has saved me tons of moolah. And I have salvaged old lamps that I think are amazing – blew the fuses out in my home once or twice, but, in the end, I got light! I will say this: I’m on my way to cancel my Pinterest account. Geez what a time suck.
Time suck. Exactly. You’re crafty and actually doing the projects. The rest of us are staring at a laptop while watching the Kardashians.
If anyone needs rehabbing, it’s those Kardashians.
Reblogged this on MINISTRY OF KIDZ and commented:
kinda interesting . comments welcomed.
We would love to post the top picture at toemail if you do not mind? Just need a location for the title and we would be good to go! http://toemail.wordpress.com
Pinterest –The repetitive useless waste of time Over and Over
Yes, I know. 50 30 minute meals. 50 romantic dinners. 50 ways to make non fat, vegan, gluten free desserts in under 100 calories. 50 Shades of Grey on your “books i like” board. 3 generations picture. Keep calm and _____. Autumn chopped salad. Melted crayons. Questionably sourced infographic. Nutella recipes. Pumpkin muffins. Pumpkin loaf. Pumpkin milkshake. PUMPKINS ARE LIFE. Eggs baked in muffin tins. Zucchini fries. Stacked bob. Textured bob. Short bob. Salads in jars. Fringe scarf. Teacher gifts. Ryan Gosling. And ARE YOU AWARE that you can glue glitter onto the heels of your shoes?!?!