Be My Valentine


Written By: Kat

Over the past decade, hating on Valentines Day has become about as trendy and ironic as loving bacon. I loathe retail holidays as much as the next guy– the alarming red and pink all-up-in-your-face for a month beforehand– so I’ve definitely been on that V.Day hate train, myself. But several years ago, I realized that February 14th is, conceptually, just a day to appreciate love; and hating that is sort of like hating a box full of baby pandas. It just makes you feel like a bitter person: so STOP THAT!

What most people really hate is not Valentines Day. We hate the commercialized notion of romance. We hate being force-fed the idea that love has to be between a man and a woman, or only two people, or that we can’t love our own damn selves. We hate that love has been bastardized to sell greeting cards, bouquets, and jewelry mined by slaves. We hate the pressure: to have a partner, to have a date, to get a great gift, to do and say the right things. Whether partnered or single, it sucks to be confronted with the notion of the perfect relationship, romance, or lover. And this is what corporate America makes Valentines Day about. A big pile of bullshit, covered in glitter hearts. How perfectly romantic.

This Valentines Day, I propose we cut the commercialism out of our love, like the cancerous mass it is, and celebrate one another the way we truly deserve. Let’s drop the pressures of perfection, to create something infinitely more authentic.

If you are single, make a dinner with your friends, plan a game night, call someone you don’t talk to enough, or just watch reality TV with your mom. One year, I went to a concert on valentines day, and handed out homemade valentines cards to everyone I saw. Make your single-girl focus spreading the love, because the world really needs more of it and, in return, you will feel more loved! Don’t envy anyone else’s relationship, marriage, or friendship. Don’t dwell on the fantasy of a fairy tale romance, we’re deciding that’s not what Valentines Day is about anymore. Instead, appreciate exactly where you are in your life, and who you have around you. And possibly Ben & Jerry, because those dudes definitely know how to make a girl happy.

If you are in a relationship, challenge yourself to show your lover how you feel without succumbing to the generic laziness of Hallmark sentiments. Appreciate the gifts your partner gives you every day: love, understanding, patience. Thank them genuinely, and celebrate in a way that is unique to the two of you. Basically, what I’m saying is have mindblowing sex and eat a whole cheesecake together. Women, do you honestly want more kitchy teddy bears? I sure don’t. What I actually want is my significant other’s full attention, and to feel appreciated as a sexy awesome female who got lucky to find an equally sexy awesome partner.

Are roses nice to receive? Yeah, I mean, yeah, they are. In our commercially-propagated society, spending money shows you care. But, at the end of the day, that’s not what love is, its a superficial accessory. Love is the card or dinner of mix CD he makes you, it’s knowing that you’re in his mind, even when you’re not around. Love is letting go of the pressure and expectations of fairytale romance. Let’s make Valentines Day about that.

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