Ask A Nerd: Questions Answered Periodically by an Angry Male
Written By: Male Correspondent #1 Do you often get panicked about wrinkles on your face? Wait, are you saying I have wrinkles? I don’t have wrinkles! I’m still young and handsome! (This is where I go steal the wife’s fancy expensive facial creams and use a ridiculous amount on my face and then she gets … Read more
In Defense of MKO
Written By: Kat One of the tabloid news’ current big obsessions is the relationship between (entertainer/ business mogul) Mary Kate Olsen and (half-brother to the former French President) Olivier Sarkozy. Apparently, two very adult people engaging in a happy-seeming, albeit publicly affectionate, relationship is a big fucking deal these days. I’m not going to get … Read more
Be My Valentine
Written By: Kat Over the past decade, hating on Valentines Day has become about as trendy and ironic as loving bacon. I loathe retail holidays as much as the next guy– the alarming red and pink all-up-in-your-face for a month beforehand– so I’ve definitely been on that V.Day hate train, myself. But several years ago, … Read more
Ask A Nerd: Questions Answered Periodically by an Angry Male
Written By: Male Correspondent #1 Do you celebrate Valentines Day? Yes, because girls like to get chocolates and flowers. It’s the culturally responsible thing to do. I get her something nice, and she usually cooks me a nice steak dinner. We don’t like going out, because nothing says “irritating as fuck” as a crowded restaurant … Read more
I Don’t Believe In Marriage
Written By: Alison Trama I’ve said it my whole life. I am the product of divorce. I am the product of two people so progressive in their liberal thoughts that they couldn’t even make a marriage last until I got to kindergarten. My father taught me my whole life that, as a woman I would … Read more
Rosie the Riveter, I am Not
Written By: Kat A few nights ago, I sat panicked next to my car, listening to the air leak from a visible puncture in my hardly-a-month-old tire. This was not my first flat tire, of course, but it was at this point where I had a few revelations. Firstly, yes, I should probably learn how … Read more
How To: Hook Up With A Girl
Written By: Sister Sylvia I know you’ve thought about it. Your girl friends are attractive, well dressed, and hilarious. Who WOULDN’T think about having sex with them? The girls on the subway seem so confident, your hair dresser has awesome boobs, and the waitress at the restaurant has this mischievous little smile. Sometimes even the … Read more
Love and an Instruction Manual
Written By: Julie Brady I recently heard a forty something year old woman state that from the time she was a teenager that all she wanted was to be loved and to have an instruction manual for how to live her life. I grabbed a pen and immediately recorded her words so in my middle … Read more
And This is the Thanks You Give Me?
Written By: Miss Ashley D I once started a cold war with a man over pulled pork. I had spent nearly twenty-four hours with that hunk of meat. Pulled pork is a process. A long and involved venture in brining, seasoning, slow roasting, shredding, and simmering. Without any kind of warning he did not show … Read more
Right There. Like That.
Written By Miss Ashley D I feel like explaining an orgasm is in fact a waste of time. Scientifically it all makes perfect sense. But who cares? I want to put it in words that make people blush. Words that make ‘em tingle, just a little, below the belt. Turn their heads. Half smile. There … Read more
Some Say Men, But I Say No.
Written By Kat Lately I’ve been wondering what the long-term effects of the women’s rights movement have really been in America. Now, before defending to me my rights to vote, and pointing out the many freedoms I enjoy as a modern female, hear me out. I actually consider myself to be a feminist. I’m not … Read more
